Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Violent Fun For The Whole Family (except grandma and grandpa)

As we at Cats In Petticoats are prone to bouts of whimsy and general chaos, it seems that one of us happened to attend a demolition derby for the first time a weekend past. The experience of it is indelible; the crunch of metal, the smell of smoke, the thrill of violence . . . the corndogs . . .

The feeling of it was so lowbrow yet exhilarating. In my mind I likened it to the ancient coliseums of yore, except that instead of a man fighting a lion it was a hatchback fighting a sedan. Certainly I happened to be sitting behind the fattest man in America, whose various folds and rolls penetrated numerous intimate regions of my personal space, but it only seemed to add to the spectacle.

I cheered as the tiny white hatchback that seemed to run on miracles triumphed over all the larger cars and eventually won the derby. From the window of the welded shut door emerged a petite woman who was promptly embraced by her exuberant husband who sprinted out from the sidelines. Her name was Tina and it was her first time competing in a demolition derby.

The victory of this woman kindled in me new ambitions to compete myself. I find my mind drifting to fantasies of my friends and I purchasing a beat up car and transforming it into a rusted chariot of conquest . . . adorned with a ruffled petticoat and a giant tiara welded onto the top. Oh yes, she would be the HMS Satan's Little Princess and she would be the baddest hot pink family sedan that ever competed in a demolition derby . . . or at least that ever competed in the state line area. Regardless, when we cruise onto the field in our matching helmets and Pink Lady jackets, we shall truly be modern day gladiators . . . in a station wagon.

1 comment:

  1. Awe. The sheer beauty of the last image makes a tear fall from my face. Yes, it is us in pink--taking our lives back once and for all! And then getting drunk and driving around. Because,HEY, it's legal where we come from.